Ah when that ol’ wander lust strikes and we get that “itch” in our feet (some experience the itch elsewhere), we just have to scratch it by taking a trip somewhere. Some of us are forced by circumstances to be a traveler “in mind only” (like Meryl Streep in the classic movie, “Out of Africa”). But when we have the necessary coins and time, we want to actually saddle up and move out. At such time we make plans to see what’s just over the nearby hill – and beyond.
When planning a trip, we can often find it helpful to get crumpled and outdated maps out of the glove box, and nostalgically relive prior sojourns to far away places by retracing the faded lines drawn on them. It can be a very good idea to lay them out and read them north to south (or from east to west), and then practice folding them back up. It would probably not be a bad idea to cover this last step several times – but some people need a reminder that maps can never be refolded the same way twice.
One might also want to go over the details of the last truce terms that were agreed upon between spouses when not under conditions of duress. Of course this usually depends upon whether he or she was driving when the agreement was made.
Key topics which will undoubtedly arise deal with inflation in gas prices, and how far below “E” the gas gage needle can safely go before “Lizzy” will sputter to a stop. As a rule the female of the household will “not feel comfortable” any time the gas gage registers under half a tank. But the typical male attitude is that if they will just go a little bit farther down the road, gas prices will be at least 2 cents a gallon cheaper. He will also claim to have somehow noticed that the “low fuel” warning light has only been on for eleven or twelve minutes. Thus the car clearly still has a full three minute’s supply sloshing around in the tank. And besides, he can (vaguely) recall reading somewhere that the fumes alone will propel the car for a considerable ways before the motor quits altogether.
It is of course, not mannerly to stereotype a situation, but we also must remember that not all trip experiences are pleasant. For example we can visualize an apprehensive female seated in the passenger seat at night with a death grip on a poorly lighted map that she turns first one way, and then the other. He, on the other hand, is barking out conflicting orders like a manic drill sergeant who has found a seat in Captain Kirk’s command chair aboard the starship, Enterprise. (Surely a couple of centuries ago Captain Bligh had a hint of developing mutiny under similar circumstances.)
Another dicey subject which might arise involves the infamous topic of stopping to ask for directions. It’s been alleged to be a matter of male ego that he prefers driving around in circles, trying to spot something familiar instead of stopping to get directions from a stranger. Actually the female faces a dilemma in that while she is undoubtedly aware that service stations have desirable (and necessary) bathrooms, but the male of the species has a propensity to get in an argument with the attendant as to which is the best route to go (e.g. the fastest, shortest, safest, cheapest, etc.).
But now modern technology has perhaps provided a better way. It is also one which has the potential to eliminate some of the less than civil “discussions” held whenever the family sedan unexpectedly reaches a road sign which reads “DEAD END”. Traditionally these impromptu conversations have been conducted at 150 decibels (or higher) around partially shredded paper maps. And the female can frequently be expected to shed copious quantities of tears when she acquires the questionable blame for causing the couple to become lost on a lonely road on a dark and stormy night.
Enter (Ta-daa!) the modern GPS device for cars. For those who’ve been under a rock for the past 20 years, it’s called a Global Positioning System. By using such gadgetry, the average work-a-day family has the opportunity to replace the centuries old cartographer’s product with modern space age technology. But it’s not always a good idea to totally chuck all your old maps, because gadgets have been prone to malfunctions of various sorts (including mis-programming don’t y’know.) Besides, glove boxes need to be stuffed with something that can be wadded up or folded.
Next, there needs to be a decision reached as to the brand and model of GPS to be acquired. It’s engaging in stereotyping again, but acquiring gadgets is generally recognized to be within a man’s sphere of family influence (with the possible exception of cell phone selection.) Women tend to be affected too much by emotional factors in their purchasing motives, and besides, we men like our gadgets with plenty of gages and dials with blinking lights and stuff.
Let’s see now, let’s get properly scientific in making a selection here. Ross Graham has a Tom-Tom. Steve Waldschmidt has a Tom-Tom. Larry Woods has a Tom-Tom. Ditto for Kenny Clark. I thought long and hard, and decided it was a Tom-Tom for me. (Radio Shack, here I come.)
It’s refreshing to be so logical and be able to use a little science in acquiring the “best” equipment. So next thing on the list was to be certain that my decision was cost effective and commercially practical.
“Networking” is a recently coined term in business which includes gaining useful knowledge from the collective experience of prior users. Steve Waldschmidt, being mechanically inclined, was near the top of my list of previous users to contact. He related that early on, he had established the practice of “allowing” his wife, Diana, to read the instructions and pre-program the GPS device in advance of their trips. He also exhibited good management and policy procedures by having Diana check with Betty Mantz for additional pre-programing tips.
When I actually had our very own GPS device in hand, I met with Ross Graham for tips on how to input instructions to the device itself. He quickly reinforced my confidence in the networking process by getting on the phone to his wife, Charlene, who naturally had a ready copy of the instructions close by. By this time I had a pretty good idea of how Larry Woods and Kenny Clark probably used their Tom-Toms.
Stay tuned for a future article which will detail our family’s first-hand experience of field testing the Tom-Tom on a trip to the west coast. Ah one can almost hear the Christy Minstrels belting out their once very popular refrain of, “Green green, it’s green they say on the far side of the hill . . . “
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