An incident happened the other day involving a minor defect in a key auto part. Both men and women labored nobly to make it non-defective, and at the same time, they sought to settle an age-old question as to whether men or women were the more capable and resourceful of the two genders. It is of course up to you, the reader, to make a judgment on the matter.
It all began in the fashion of the typical American nightmare – a failure of essential automotive equipment, in broad daylight, in front of plenty of I.O.s (interested observers), who have little to do but watch for the occasional embarrassing action that might arise among the usual patrons of what Dub Garnett used to call “the Breakfast Club”. The time: mid-morning on a weekday. The place: the center of crowded McDonald’s/Daylight Donut parking lots in Alva. The identity of the I.O.s: the breakfast crowd that specializes in coffee consumption and substantial “air temperature enhancement” (idle chatter commonly known as “shooting the breeze.”)
The central figure in this particular bit of drama was none other than Sir Irvin Hopper (frequently the case at McDonald’s.) He had just arrived for a bit of his customary jousting with the members of the Breakfast Club in his white charger and was switching the motor off when the left windshield wiper blade “just fell off.”
It was not too dramatic at first – just a little metallic “click”, and the offending device was on its way to the pavement where it alit with a muffled thud. The whole incident might have gone largely unnoticed except that one of the more alert I.O.s called in a loud voice, “Hey Irvin, your windshield wiper blade fell off.”
In a very short time, this scene became the focal point of a growing crowd in the center of the two parking lots. Both genders were represented in the initial group of “early responders” to this developing crisis. Fawn Kingcaid and Annette Schwertfeger (of the fairer sex), were returning from a morning “scurry” to the Daylight Donut Shop. Not only had they sought to assuage their own affliction (known as “having a sweet tooth”), but they had also loaded themselves down with pastries purchased for other members of the NWOSU business office.
Kingcaid and Schwertfeger both have well established reputations for keen hearing (and an unsurpassed talking ability, but this is subject matter for another day.) The first sounds of the developing crisis had hardly died away before the two intrepid females rushed up to Hopper and inquired whether anyone at the scene required CPR or other first aid. After quickly determining that the situation called for a mechanical remedy rather than a medical one, Kimcaid called for someone to hold their treasured armload of pastries and announced that she and Schwerteger could handle this little emergency themselves.
By this time the two girls had over a dozen I.O.s to choose from in selecting a qualified pastry holder. But in their haste to effect the needed repairs to Hopper’s vehicle, they failed to notice: (a) the identity of their assistant good Samaritan and (b) the fact that he was drooling all over the transferred sacks of donuts and rolls. The interim pastry holder was none other than Breakfast Club kingpin, Kenny Clark.
Be that as it may, the two women were soon hard at work, and (naturally) were discussing the best way to proceed. “You just snap this little thingy on there and it holds that gadget in place like that . . . .No Annette, that won’t work . . . . . see it came off again . . . hmmmmm . . . Well some of these men think they could do a better job – so let them try.”
Steve Waldschmidt was the next participant to have a try at attaching “the unattachable blade.” The fact that he used to run an auto repair shop seemed to carry no weight with the (now) highly critical crowd. He began to try to attach the severed device to the object vehicle – but after several innovative attempts, had no more success than the two women experienced. However he received substantially more criticism than the women, and far more derision. In fact Kingcaid and Schwertfegger had become the loudest of the critics of Waldschmidt, making a joke of how many men it takes to change a wiper blade.
The scene shortly thereafter degenerated into a vigorous argument between males and females as to which gender is the most mechanically inclined. As a general rule, the men took the position that since the time the pyramids were built, men throughout history have been the most mechanically adept. And the women pointed out that the female gender was just beginning to show its mechanical aptitude, stressing the fact it was a woman who had designed the recent Mars robotic rover . . . . .)
In the meantime a person (generally thought to be Jim Rhodes or an unidentified woman) slipped forward, deftly snapped the wiper blade in place, and disappeared into the crowd before the debate could produce a winner of the argument. Fawn Kingcaid angrily snatched the sacks of pastries from Kenny Clark’s arms, and shortly thereafter began accusing him of causing a sizeable shortfall in the contents of the bags. Clark’s sincere denials would have been much more convincing if he had first wiped the icing off his lips and not smacked them so loudly accompanied by annoying slurping sounds.
And the debate as to gender superiority goes on and on . . . .
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